Voldemort and the Brain
by shinchansgirl
Summary: 97&128 for WritersFunk. Written for Sarah. Xover with Pinky and the Brain. Two mice sneak into Voldemort's rooms, and Nagini has a question for Brain.
1. Chapter 1

Voldemort and the Brain.  
For: Sarah

Series: Harry Potter and Pinky and the Brain.  
Pairing: n/a  
Request: Voldemort meets Brain.  
Word Count: 389 (without lyrics)

NOTES:

-the request was actually to have Voldemort and Brain plotting…but then I got this idea, you see…and it was about Brain actually being the one to kill Voldemort, see…and so it wasn't Harry or Neville who overthrows Voldie, you see…hehehehehe  
-yes, the lyrics are the _actual lyrics_ to the pinky and the brain theme song. I didn't get to fit in the "pondering" lines or a "narf!" line, though. I'm so sad…

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"So what are we going to do tonight, Brain?"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky."

"Run around in circles and try to catch the cheese that the big man put out on the table for the cat?"

"No; try to take over the world!"

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_They're Pinky and The Brain  
Yes, Pinky and The Brain  
One is a genius  
The other's insane.  
They're laboratory mice  
Their genes have been spliced  
They're dinky  
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Brain._

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Pinky was sitting on the rug before the fire, trying to chew through one of the threads. "You know, Brain, I think this food tastes funny."

His counterpart was on a tabletop, standing on top of and reading a book. "You aren't designed to consume the carpeting, dudderhead."

"Does that mean I can't eat it?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Hey Brain?"

"What now?"

"There's something funny about this fire."

"What?"

"It's green."

Brain didn't even bother to look up from the book he was reading. "It's an illusion created by your brain to wreck havoc on the few thought molecules you have left," he said.

"Oh. Okay."

Ignoring the snake and the man who came out of the fire – it was after all, and illusion of his something-or-other – he climbed up in the table to join the other mouse. "Hey Brain, do ill-u-shi-ons make me think like you?"

"Thankfully, no. Now help me turn the page."

A boney hand held the page down for a moment, and scooped up the shorter mouse before he could scurry away. "We appear to have an infestation of talking mice, Nagini," the man hissed. "What should we do about that?"

"Caaaaan I eaaat theeeeem, massssster?"

"It would be inadvisable to digest a rodent such as myself at the current time; I'm likely to administer indigestion," Brain said. "Now release me, fool human, so that I may complete my plans."

"What plans?"

"My plans to take over the world!"

Voldemort frowned. "I'm taking over the world, and I don't feel like sharing it with a mouse."

"I would be inclined to agree with you; inhabiting the world with you foul beasts would be a disgrace to my innate talent as an evil genius."

"You are annoying," the Dark Lord declared, dropping him to the floor. "Nagini, you may eat them." The man left.

Nagini turned to the mouse, wrapping him lightly in her coils. "Tell me, mouse. What is this…indigestion?"

Brain smirked.

"Hey Brain!" Pinky called from the tabletop. "I got the page turned!"

_They're Pinky and The Brain  
Yes, Pinky and The Brain  
Their twilight campaign  
Is easy to explain.  
To prove their mousey worth  
They'll overthrow the Earth  
They're dinky  
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain_

_  
Narf!_

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

Voldemort and the Brain, Part Two  
For: SlashyKitty

SERIES: HP/Pinky and the Brain  
PAIRING: N/a  
REQUEST: continue "Voldemort and the Brain". Bring in Wormtail.  
WORD COUNT: 181

Nagini allowed Pinky to ride on her back as she slithered her way through the house, Brain trailing along beside them. Her slink was slow enough that the mouse could walk and think – until a rat ran into his side.

"Foul, loathsome beast!" Brain scolded. "Focus your attention on the road before you, to prevent such occurrences as this!"

The rat squeaked.

Brain stared.

"It is the mouse who changes into a man," Nagini hissed, encircling the pair in a wide ring of her coils. "The blood-traitor. Can I eat him?"

Pinky smiled, laughed, and clapped his paws together. "Oh, look Brain! A rat!"

"Pinky…are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so Brain, but it's nearly dawn - how are we going to find leather and chains at this hour?"

Silence.

"Come, Human Rat," Brain said instead. "You will help us take over the world."

"How do you plan to do that, Mouse?" Nagini asked. "My Master has been trying to do that for years."

"Apparently, we need a large number of buffalo hide strips and metal restraining devices."

"Narf!"

THE END


End file.
